Today I watched a sad sight. We were at the gas station and our 16 year old was pumping the gas. This left me time to look around at the other people getting gas.
Looking across the parking lot I saw two vehicles parked next to each other. They were taking luggage out of one and putting it into the other. A man took it out of one, handed it to a teen girl, she gave it to another man and he put it in the other vehicle. There was a young girl watching and making sure everything got transferred. There was also a woman there watching and keeping mostly to the far side of the second vehicle.
When everything was packed, the young girl was picked up and snuggled by the first man. They lingered in their hug as if they weren't ready to have it end. Next the teen gave the man a more 'dignified' hug. The man left.
The girls got into the second car with the other man and the woman. They drove off in the opposite direction.
The more I watched the sadder I got. This scene probably played itself out all over the country which is even sadder!
As we were leaving the station I resolved to never give up on my marriage and to encourage my children to fight for theirs also. The cost is too great!
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Monday, January 2, 2017
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Adoption 4
The next thing we had to do were interviews. We met with our adoption worker 4-5 times and gave her more personal information about our family. The first was about our education and work history. The next was information on our parents, siblings, half siblings and step siblings. I have all three and my husband has step siblings he has never met. It seemed odd to need information on all of them. It was fun connecting with some of my siblings who I only see occasionally. We are terrible at staying in contact but we enjoy hearing from each other.
The next one was about my husband and I. Why did we get married? What do we like about each other? What things do we do together? What is our relationship like?... Our adoption worker wouldn't accept that we got married because we loved each other. We had to give more specific answers. I'm glad my husband was answering her questions first! How would you answer those questions ?
Finally, we talked about the kids and our discipline. How would you describe each of your kids? Any behavior problems with any of them? What activities do you do with them? How do you discipline them?... I have some trouble describing people. I kind of look at them as them. The whole package is who they are. It's a good thing our worker gave us an idea of what we would be talking about the week before. She did this each week.
Each session lasted about 1 hour. Every now and then we sent her an e-mail with more information. All this information will go into a report that will help match us with some children.
One of the final things we had to have was a home inspection. We had to put up fire extinguishers and fire alarms, put in outlet plugs, lock up chemicals and medications, ... The adoption worker came and walked through our home to make sure we did everything on the list. This is to make sure our home is safe. We passed.
Now, we are just waiting for the report to be finished so we can proof read it. Then finally we can start to actively look for children.
The next one was about my husband and I. Why did we get married? What do we like about each other? What things do we do together? What is our relationship like?... Our adoption worker wouldn't accept that we got married because we loved each other. We had to give more specific answers. I'm glad my husband was answering her questions first! How would you answer those questions ?
Finally, we talked about the kids and our discipline. How would you describe each of your kids? Any behavior problems with any of them? What activities do you do with them? How do you discipline them?... I have some trouble describing people. I kind of look at them as them. The whole package is who they are. It's a good thing our worker gave us an idea of what we would be talking about the week before. She did this each week.
Each session lasted about 1 hour. Every now and then we sent her an e-mail with more information. All this information will go into a report that will help match us with some children.
One of the final things we had to have was a home inspection. We had to put up fire extinguishers and fire alarms, put in outlet plugs, lock up chemicals and medications, ... The adoption worker came and walked through our home to make sure we did everything on the list. This is to make sure our home is safe. We passed.
Now, we are just waiting for the report to be finished so we can proof read it. Then finally we can start to actively look for children.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Adoption 1
We are trying to adopt. Many people have wondered why. They point out that we already have 4 kids. But too many kids out there have noone. We hope to provide a family for 2-3 of them.
Who are we adopting, is usually the next question. We are going through an adoption agency. In this process the children are identified (looked for) after all the paper work is completed. We look at all the information that is available for many children and try to find a match for our family. This is the hard part. We will seriously pray about this decision.
Where are we getting them from? We will be looking at the children in the foster care system. I hope we can find a match in a county that we don't visit much. I'd hate to run into someone the child knows. It would be nice to give them a fresh start.
When will we receive the children? It's hard to say. Most adoptions take at least 2 years. Our process has gone pretty smoothly but there have been a few snags. Also we want a good match for our family. That may take time. None of these kids are perfect. All of them have many problems. We will need to decide what problems we are able to deal with and which ones will put too much pressure on our family. We want to build a stronger family not destroy the one we already have.
What do we have to do? Right now we are collecting all our information. But lets go back to the beginning. First we made an appointment and talked to an adoption counselor. She laid out the whole process. We thought about it and decided to go for it. Here is where I leave you in suspence. More about the process later:)
Who are we adopting, is usually the next question. We are going through an adoption agency. In this process the children are identified (looked for) after all the paper work is completed. We look at all the information that is available for many children and try to find a match for our family. This is the hard part. We will seriously pray about this decision.
Where are we getting them from? We will be looking at the children in the foster care system. I hope we can find a match in a county that we don't visit much. I'd hate to run into someone the child knows. It would be nice to give them a fresh start.
When will we receive the children? It's hard to say. Most adoptions take at least 2 years. Our process has gone pretty smoothly but there have been a few snags. Also we want a good match for our family. That may take time. None of these kids are perfect. All of them have many problems. We will need to decide what problems we are able to deal with and which ones will put too much pressure on our family. We want to build a stronger family not destroy the one we already have.
What do we have to do? Right now we are collecting all our information. But lets go back to the beginning. First we made an appointment and talked to an adoption counselor. She laid out the whole process. We thought about it and decided to go for it. Here is where I leave you in suspence. More about the process later:)
Friday, November 6, 2009
Midlife crisis
Hi! Is that title scary or what? What will you do when that time comes? Maybe you already did it. I hope it was fun! I also hope it was constructive. Many times we hear about unhealthy crisis's. You know that man who bought a new convertible he couldn't afford and is now wearing a toupee. Every now and then he also trades in his wife for a younger model. Women also do crazy things in a quest to regain some of their youth. Some are detrimental to them selves and their families. It is very sad when men and women place so much value on trying to regain something that they will never have again and in the process loose what they worked most of their lives to achieve.
I believe I am going through my midlife crisis. Oh no!!! Don't worry. I'm just acting a little crazier that I used to. I know you couldn't tell. Thanks. Anyway, it all started when we were getting ready to go to Washington D.C. I almost never wear make up or paint my fingernails except when my husband and I go someplace special. The night before we left I painted my nails. The color I normally wear is a brownish pink. I like the color but when I put it on that night my hands looked about 90 years old. Not good. I of course took it off and wished I had a pretty, light pink color. I made do with clear. After the trip I came across a pretty, light pink polish and bought it. While waiting for my kids at soccer practice that night, I painted it on. Friends of mine came for their son and were almost blinded by my polish. So they say. They were surprised at the color and others were surprised that I had any on at all. I don't think my husband has got over the shock yet! I liked the color. I then went and got a dark blue polish. Recently I purchased a red and a white. Can you guess what I did with those? Look below and you'll see.
That is in honor of Veteran's Day. As you can see, there are four hands. The old bony ones are mine and the young pretty ones are my daughter's. A very good benefit of my 'crisis' is that it helps me connect with my daughter. That is a very big plus.So if you feel you need to regain your youth, do something constructive and FUN! A midlife crisis doesn't have to be negative. It can contribute to and enrich the life you have and want to keep.
I think a nice green would work. You know hunting season is coming up!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Thankful
I am reading the book Created for Work by Bob Schultz. This sentence really hit me. "A secret to worshiping God is to forget what you can't have and thankfully find pleasure in what you do have."
As most of us some days I wish my life were more perfect. You know -quieter kids who jump and run when asked to do something. Who never make messes:) A very attentive husband who brings me flowers and chocolate every day. A self cleaning house. This includes dishes and laundry! I know a little over the top. But in all honesty if we could have some of the more realistic wishes we would miss out on some of the joys.
My house is a fixer-upper if we had lots of money we could have contractors come in and fix it good. But then I'd miss the time my husband and I have had to spend together fixing it. It's amazing how well you can learn to work together if given many opportunities. I've found with my kids that they get reasonably quiet if I play a game with them - or just spend time with them. Who would want to miss that? I'm still working on the self cleaning house idea but in the mean time my family is usually good at helping or overlooking.
When we find ourselves wishing for those things that we don't have we need to be thankful for what we do have. I am thankful that I have pretty good kids, a husband who shares the computer with me, and a house large enough and sturdy enough to keep all my treasures safe! I am greatly blessed!
As most of us some days I wish my life were more perfect. You know -quieter kids who jump and run when asked to do something. Who never make messes:) A very attentive husband who brings me flowers and chocolate every day. A self cleaning house. This includes dishes and laundry! I know a little over the top. But in all honesty if we could have some of the more realistic wishes we would miss out on some of the joys.
My house is a fixer-upper if we had lots of money we could have contractors come in and fix it good. But then I'd miss the time my husband and I have had to spend together fixing it. It's amazing how well you can learn to work together if given many opportunities. I've found with my kids that they get reasonably quiet if I play a game with them - or just spend time with them. Who would want to miss that? I'm still working on the self cleaning house idea but in the mean time my family is usually good at helping or overlooking.
When we find ourselves wishing for those things that we don't have we need to be thankful for what we do have. I am thankful that I have pretty good kids, a husband who shares the computer with me, and a house large enough and sturdy enough to keep all my treasures safe! I am greatly blessed!
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Family games
We enjoy playing games as a family. We each seem to have different priorities during the game. These can change depending on the game. Some can't wait to get it over with. I guess they have something more important to do. Others want to stomp the other team or players. Winning is everything! Then there are those of us who just hope we don't get stomped:) Mostly we try to make it a good time to spend with each other.
The other day we were playing Cranium Cadoo. My husband had one team and I had the other. We were one question away from winning. My poor husband's team kept getting combo cards where if we win the card both teams put a piece on the same square. In a tic-tac-toe type game that wasn't good. My team got many solo cards. Which was very good. We had pieces on the squares that they picked out and on the ones we picked out. Saddly, we had only been playing about 20 minutes and part of our family was going to get stomped royally. I let my team mates answer the winning question and put our piece on a square that didn't help us at all at that time. After their groans quieted, I said," Why don't we see if we can fill the board without there being a winner". Luckily my husband picked up on it and the game lasted at least 20 minutes longer and we were all winners. As it turned out the last space filled in gave both teams 4 in a row!! We don't play like this all the time. I usually get stomped good but I love the people doing the stomping so it isn't so bad.
The other day we were playing Cranium Cadoo. My husband had one team and I had the other. We were one question away from winning. My poor husband's team kept getting combo cards where if we win the card both teams put a piece on the same square. In a tic-tac-toe type game that wasn't good. My team got many solo cards. Which was very good. We had pieces on the squares that they picked out and on the ones we picked out. Saddly, we had only been playing about 20 minutes and part of our family was going to get stomped royally. I let my team mates answer the winning question and put our piece on a square that didn't help us at all at that time. After their groans quieted, I said," Why don't we see if we can fill the board without there being a winner". Luckily my husband picked up on it and the game lasted at least 20 minutes longer and we were all winners. As it turned out the last space filled in gave both teams 4 in a row!! We don't play like this all the time. I usually get stomped good but I love the people doing the stomping so it isn't so bad.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Birthday
Hi, I'm taking a break from Washington DC.
We celebrated my youngest's birthday today. On my kid's birth date we have a little birthday with just the immediate family. Later we have an extended family birthday party. Today he got to pick out his special breakfast (pop tarts) and a cake and ice cream substitute (brownies- cake and ice cream is for the big birthday).
We had fun this evening.
My daughter wanted to light his candle. I let her.The first match went out when it touched the candle. The second one did the trick. She then blew out the match (and candle) all in one breath. The third match broke when she tried to light it. It actually flew and landed on the brownies! She picked it up and lit the candle with it. SUCCESS! She then picked up a tooth pick and lit it on the candle flame. I was very nervous. I made her put it in the sink before she blew out the candle again.
I took the cake into the living room
where he was waiting. It was so dark that I pretended to not know where he was. I walked around to everyone else while we sang Happy Birthday!! He knew I was teasing him. I finally 'found' him and we sang again. He had fun and really enjoyed his presents:)
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Hello and Goodbye
Hello this is my first post. I guess I shouldn't be saying goodbye. I am though, only for a few days. My husband qualified for a trip with his company. We are going with other managers to Washington DC. Sounds exciting! We've gone with them the last few years. The people are great and they put together a wonderful trip. I mostly look forward to time with my husband (he's great) and lots of food that I don't have to cook or clean up after. It's perfect my husband and food. What could be better? Well I must say that having the kids there would be great also.
Kids? Yes we have a hand full of kids. They are pretty good though. They add something special to everything. My Mom usually watches them but this year she can't. You know you're blessed when your friends start fighting over who gets to watch them. One problem though, we have a 1 yr old black lab mix who can't stay at someone else's house. Well he probably could but I may loose a friend that way and good friends are hard to come by. We decided to see if someone would stay at the house and watch the kids, dog, bunnie, turtle, the works. Its hard to believe but we have been doubly blessed- the teenage daughters of our friends volunteered. They are going to fill in for each other when the other has an activity. Amazingly I actually trust these girls with my children. How many teenagers can you say that about? So these young ladies are going to stay in our house for 3 days and look after our kids. God has blessed us greatly!
Se ya later!
Kids? Yes we have a hand full of kids. They are pretty good though. They add something special to everything. My Mom usually watches them but this year she can't. You know you're blessed when your friends start fighting over who gets to watch them. One problem though, we have a 1 yr old black lab mix who can't stay at someone else's house. Well he probably could but I may loose a friend that way and good friends are hard to come by. We decided to see if someone would stay at the house and watch the kids, dog, bunnie, turtle, the works. Its hard to believe but we have been doubly blessed- the teenage daughters of our friends volunteered. They are going to fill in for each other when the other has an activity. Amazingly I actually trust these girls with my children. How many teenagers can you say that about? So these young ladies are going to stay in our house for 3 days and look after our kids. God has blessed us greatly!
Se ya later!
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