Adoption 4

The next thing we had to do were interviews. We met with our adoption worker 4-5 times and gave her more personal information about our family. The first was about our education and work history. The next was information on our parents, siblings, half siblings and step siblings. I have all three and my husband has step siblings he has never met. It seemed odd to need information on all of them. It was fun connecting with some of my siblings who I only see occasionally. We are terrible at staying in contact but we enjoy hearing from each other.

The next one was about my husband and I. Why did we get married? What do we like about each other? What things do we do together? What is our relationship like?... Our adoption worker wouldn't accept that we got married because we loved each other. We had to give more specific answers. I'm glad my husband was answering her questions first! How would you answer those questions ?

Finally, we talked about the kids and our discipline. How would you describe each of your kids? Any behavior problems with any of them? What activities do you do with them? How do you discipline them?... I have some trouble describing people. I kind of look at them as them. The whole package is who they are. It's a good thing our worker gave us an idea of what we would be talking about the week before. She did this each week.

Each session lasted about 1 hour. Every now and then we sent her an e-mail with more information. All this information will go into a report that will help match us with some children.

One of the final things we had to have was a home inspection. We had to put up fire extinguishers and fire alarms, put in outlet plugs, lock up chemicals and medications, ... The adoption worker came and walked through our home to make sure we did everything on the list. This is to make sure our home is safe. We passed.

Now, we are just waiting for the report to be finished so we can proof read it. Then finally we can start to actively look for children.

Adoption 3

Along with all the information gathering, we were required to take a class. A class was starting about a week after we received the initial information. It was only an hour away. Usually the classes are held about 2 and a half hours away, if we didn't take this class we would be traveling quite a distance for the next one! We had to decide quickly.

We decided to go ahead. Friends or family watched the kids while we completed the 30 hour class. We went once a week for about 10 weeks.

There was a lot of reading to do. We read about 2 books and a binder full of information. Some of it was redundant but we learned a lot. We had some written exercises and many discussions. We also had to watch the movie "Coach Carter" at home and discuss it in class.

We learned about most of the many problems the kids may have and why they probably have them. We discussed what we should do when the problems arise and we were encouraged to find resources in our area that would help us with the children and help the children themselves.

We discussed many topics that should make our adjustment and the children's adjustments a little easier. Also we hopefully learned enough that we won't be too shocked when we hear what these children have been through.

Many of the people taking the class had a good sense of humor. Every now and then one of our discussions would end with laughs. I can almost say the classes were fun. The hour drive even worked well for us. My husband and I were able to have an hour of quality time to and from the class to talk about the adoption and the things we were learning in class.

Having to take a class always seems like a drudgery. This one was interesting and sometimes entertaining. Most of all it helped us understand the lives these kids are coming from.

Adoption 2

I hope you had a great Thanksgiving!

Our adoption is moving along pretty well. We should be done with all the info collecting on us. All this info is called the home study. It includes background checks, up to date physicals, and references. We provided a copy of many documents such as: birth certificates, marriage license, tax return, proof of insurance, driver's licence, will with guardianship plan, and photos of family.

We also needed to supply 6 names of references who have known us for at least 3 years. Family, nonfamily, neighbor, boss are most of the categories. Of course we picked people who know us pretty well and like us.(We like them too:)

Along with all this is an autobiography of the adoptive couple. That means that my husband and I each had to write the story of our lives. It was an interesting experience. Our adoption worker told us that it usually writes itself once you get started. It did.

Here are some of the guidelines we were given: childhood,teen and adult experiences both happy and sad. What were your father and mother like? brothers and sisters? dating, school, etc? How did you and your spouse meet? What do you both enjoy, how do you settle disagreements? What does your faith in God mean to you? Was religion a part of your upbringing? What changes do you anticipate with a child coming into your home? Add anything that you think has helped to make you the person you are today.

We ended up with one autobiography 11 pages long and another 9 pages long. How long do you think yours would be? What would you put into it? I bet it would be very interesting.

One thing I need to note is that all the info that is gathered is kept confidential. Nothing is shared without our written consent.

Adoption 1

We are trying to adopt. Many people have wondered why. They point out that we already have 4 kids. But too many kids out there have noone. We hope to provide a family for 2-3 of them.

Who are we adopting, is usually the next question. We are going through an adoption agency. In this process the children are identified (looked for) after all the paper work is completed. We look at all the information that is available for many children and try to find a match for our family. This is the hard part. We will seriously pray about this decision.

Where are we getting them from? We will be looking at the children in the foster care system. I hope we can find a match in a county that we don't visit much. I'd hate to run into someone the child knows. It would be nice to give them a fresh start.

When will we receive the children? It's hard to say. Most adoptions take at least 2 years. Our process has gone pretty smoothly but there have been a few snags. Also we want a good match for our family. That may take time. None of these kids are perfect. All of them have many problems. We will need to decide what problems we are able to deal with and which ones will put too much pressure on our family. We want to build a stronger family not destroy the one we already have.

What do we have to do? Right now we are collecting all our information. But lets go back to the beginning. First we made an appointment and talked to an adoption counselor. She laid out the whole process. We thought about it and decided to go for it. Here is where I leave you in suspence. More about the process later:)