Today I watched a sad sight. We were at the gas station and our 16 year old was pumping the gas. This left me time to look around at the other people getting gas.
Looking across the parking lot I saw two vehicles parked next to each other. They were taking luggage out of one and putting it into the other. A man took it out of one, handed it to a teen girl, she gave it to another man and he put it in the other vehicle. There was a young girl watching and making sure everything got transferred. There was also a woman there watching and keeping mostly to the far side of the second vehicle.
When everything was packed, the young girl was picked up and snuggled by the first man. They lingered in their hug as if they weren't ready to have it end. Next the teen gave the man a more 'dignified' hug. The man left.
The girls got into the second car with the other man and the woman. They drove off in the opposite direction.
The more I watched the sadder I got. This scene probably played itself out all over the country which is even sadder!
As we were leaving the station I resolved to never give up on my marriage and to encourage my children to fight for theirs also. The cost is too great!
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Monday, January 2, 2017
Monday, November 16, 2009
The Five Love Languages
This is the title of a book that I just finished reading. It is written by Gary Chapman (Northfield Publishing). It tells of five ways we express love and receive love.
The first one described is words of affirmation. This is when we tell our mate how great he is. We encourage him with our words and verbally demonstrate how proud we are of him.
The second is quality time. Here we spend time sitting and talking to him. We show him how much we value him by doing activities with him and wanting to hear what he has to say.
The third is receiving gifts. A small gift goes a long way to say "I love you". It doesn't have to be expensive, just a little note or his favorite candy bar.
The fourth is acts of service. He may value a tidy house, his shirts ironed, or food on the table each evening. The things we do speak volumes to him.
Finally, the fifth one is physical touch. Most of us would say yes THAT is it. This isn't the physical touch that we usually think of. This is a kiss, hug or pat that you may give him during the day. How about a back rub? It doesn't have to lead to anything, your touch is a sure sign of love
Sounds easy? Here is where it gets difficult. We all have only one main love language. The way we show love may not be received as a sign of love if the other person speaks a different language. You may keep the house spotless but he needs a hug at the door to feel loved. What about all the praise you give him? If he longs for time spent with you, you would be wasting your breath. Do you get the picture?
How do you know which one he is? Well, one way is to listen to what he complains about. Does he wish you'd clean the house, give him more hugs, say something positive about him,...? Another way is to watch how he is trying to tell you he loves you. You may not pick up on it if it isn't your love language but most people love the way they are able to receive love. A third way is tried and true- just ask him what makes him feel loved.
The first one described is words of affirmation. This is when we tell our mate how great he is. We encourage him with our words and verbally demonstrate how proud we are of him.
The second is quality time. Here we spend time sitting and talking to him. We show him how much we value him by doing activities with him and wanting to hear what he has to say.
The third is receiving gifts. A small gift goes a long way to say "I love you". It doesn't have to be expensive, just a little note or his favorite candy bar.
The fourth is acts of service. He may value a tidy house, his shirts ironed, or food on the table each evening. The things we do speak volumes to him.
Finally, the fifth one is physical touch. Most of us would say yes THAT is it. This isn't the physical touch that we usually think of. This is a kiss, hug or pat that you may give him during the day. How about a back rub? It doesn't have to lead to anything, your touch is a sure sign of love
Sounds easy? Here is where it gets difficult. We all have only one main love language. The way we show love may not be received as a sign of love if the other person speaks a different language. You may keep the house spotless but he needs a hug at the door to feel loved. What about all the praise you give him? If he longs for time spent with you, you would be wasting your breath. Do you get the picture?
How do you know which one he is? Well, one way is to listen to what he complains about. Does he wish you'd clean the house, give him more hugs, say something positive about him,...? Another way is to watch how he is trying to tell you he loves you. You may not pick up on it if it isn't your love language but most people love the way they are able to receive love. A third way is tried and true- just ask him what makes him feel loved.
If you are like me and can't tell definitely which one, try doing all of them and see which one he responds to the most.
If you find out his language and it isn't one that you speak well, ask him what you can do to help him feel more loved and do your best. Remember a husband who is full of love definitely has it's benefits.
Well I'd better go. My husband is breathing on my neck. No- nothing exciting, he just wants the computer:)
If you find out his language and it isn't one that you speak well, ask him what you can do to help him feel more loved and do your best. Remember a husband who is full of love definitely has it's benefits.
Well I'd better go. My husband is breathing on my neck. No- nothing exciting, he just wants the computer:)
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Sweet Sixteen
That is a very deceptive title. I'm definitely not 16. Yesterday my husband and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary. It's amazing but 16 really isn't a long time but I can't imagine life without him. It almost seems like we have always been together.
Last year he got some comments from the people who work with him. They were actually surprised that we had been together that long (15 years). It wasn't surprise at us personally but that anyone could stay married that long! It's sad when 16 years of marriage is an incredible feat.
This year we celebrated by going out to dinner and hanging out together(without kids!!!). We really enjoyed spending this time together. On the way home we stopped at McDonald's for icecream. There were 2 men in there who started talking to us. When they found out we were celebrating our anniversary they volunteered their accomplishments. The one has been married to the same woman for 50 years!!! The other told us that this year would have been their 34th anniversary but she had passed away 7 years ago. He was clearly still in love with her.
Love that lasts 50 years , 34 years, even 16 years is a rarity in many lives. I remember when I was growing up, if a marriage didn't make it to 30, 40, 50 years it was because one of the beloveds had passed away. Divorce and "broken homes" were just starting to become more common. Now- if your family is intact you are in the minority. I hope we remain in the minority!
Last year he got some comments from the people who work with him. They were actually surprised that we had been together that long (15 years). It wasn't surprise at us personally but that anyone could stay married that long! It's sad when 16 years of marriage is an incredible feat.
This year we celebrated by going out to dinner and hanging out together(without kids!!!). We really enjoyed spending this time together. On the way home we stopped at McDonald's for icecream. There were 2 men in there who started talking to us. When they found out we were celebrating our anniversary they volunteered their accomplishments. The one has been married to the same woman for 50 years!!! The other told us that this year would have been their 34th anniversary but she had passed away 7 years ago. He was clearly still in love with her.
Love that lasts 50 years , 34 years, even 16 years is a rarity in many lives. I remember when I was growing up, if a marriage didn't make it to 30, 40, 50 years it was because one of the beloveds had passed away. Divorce and "broken homes" were just starting to become more common. Now- if your family is intact you are in the minority. I hope we remain in the minority!
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