This is the title of a book that I just finished reading. It is written by Gary Chapman (Northfield Publishing). It tells of five ways we express love and receive love.
The first one described is words of affirmation. This is when we tell our mate how great he is. We encourage him with our words and verbally demonstrate how proud we are of him.
The second is quality time. Here we spend time sitting and talking to him. We show him how much we value him by doing activities with him and wanting to hear what he has to say.
The third is receiving gifts. A small gift goes a long way to say "I love you". It doesn't have to be expensive, just a little note or his favorite candy bar.
The fourth is acts of service. He may value a tidy house, his shirts ironed, or food on the table each evening. The things we do speak volumes to him.
Finally, the fifth one is physical touch. Most of us would say yes THAT is it. This isn't the physical touch that we usually think of. This is a kiss, hug or pat that you may give him during the day. How about a back rub? It doesn't have to lead to anything, your touch is a sure sign of love
Sounds easy? Here is where it gets difficult. We all have only one main love language. The way we show love may not be received as a sign of love if the other person speaks a different language. You may keep the house spotless but he needs a hug at the door to feel loved. What about all the praise you give him? If he longs for time spent with you, you would be wasting your breath. Do you get the picture?
How do you know which one he is? Well, one way is to listen to what he complains about. Does he wish you'd clean the house, give him more hugs, say something positive about him,...? Another way is to watch how he is trying to tell you he loves you. You may not pick up on it if it isn't your love language but most people love the way they are able to receive love. A third way is tried and true- just ask him what makes him feel loved.
The first one described is words of affirmation. This is when we tell our mate how great he is. We encourage him with our words and verbally demonstrate how proud we are of him.
The second is quality time. Here we spend time sitting and talking to him. We show him how much we value him by doing activities with him and wanting to hear what he has to say.
The third is receiving gifts. A small gift goes a long way to say "I love you". It doesn't have to be expensive, just a little note or his favorite candy bar.
The fourth is acts of service. He may value a tidy house, his shirts ironed, or food on the table each evening. The things we do speak volumes to him.
Finally, the fifth one is physical touch. Most of us would say yes THAT is it. This isn't the physical touch that we usually think of. This is a kiss, hug or pat that you may give him during the day. How about a back rub? It doesn't have to lead to anything, your touch is a sure sign of love
Sounds easy? Here is where it gets difficult. We all have only one main love language. The way we show love may not be received as a sign of love if the other person speaks a different language. You may keep the house spotless but he needs a hug at the door to feel loved. What about all the praise you give him? If he longs for time spent with you, you would be wasting your breath. Do you get the picture?
How do you know which one he is? Well, one way is to listen to what he complains about. Does he wish you'd clean the house, give him more hugs, say something positive about him,...? Another way is to watch how he is trying to tell you he loves you. You may not pick up on it if it isn't your love language but most people love the way they are able to receive love. A third way is tried and true- just ask him what makes him feel loved.
If you are like me and can't tell definitely which one, try doing all of them and see which one he responds to the most.
If you find out his language and it isn't one that you speak well, ask him what you can do to help him feel more loved and do your best. Remember a husband who is full of love definitely has it's benefits.
Well I'd better go. My husband is breathing on my neck. No- nothing exciting, he just wants the computer:)
If you find out his language and it isn't one that you speak well, ask him what you can do to help him feel more loved and do your best. Remember a husband who is full of love definitely has it's benefits.
Well I'd better go. My husband is breathing on my neck. No- nothing exciting, he just wants the computer:)
good book. I have that book and have even read it! It certainly gives you a different idea & definitely makes sense. I agree, it is hard to dicipher which one he is too.
ReplyDelete