Adoption 2

I hope you had a great Thanksgiving!

Our adoption is moving along pretty well. We should be done with all the info collecting on us. All this info is called the home study. It includes background checks, up to date physicals, and references. We provided a copy of many documents such as: birth certificates, marriage license, tax return, proof of insurance, driver's licence, will with guardianship plan, and photos of family.

We also needed to supply 6 names of references who have known us for at least 3 years. Family, nonfamily, neighbor, boss are most of the categories. Of course we picked people who know us pretty well and like us.(We like them too:)

Along with all this is an autobiography of the adoptive couple. That means that my husband and I each had to write the story of our lives. It was an interesting experience. Our adoption worker told us that it usually writes itself once you get started. It did.

Here are some of the guidelines we were given: childhood,teen and adult experiences both happy and sad. What were your father and mother like? brothers and sisters? dating, school, etc? How did you and your spouse meet? What do you both enjoy, how do you settle disagreements? What does your faith in God mean to you? Was religion a part of your upbringing? What changes do you anticipate with a child coming into your home? Add anything that you think has helped to make you the person you are today.

We ended up with one autobiography 11 pages long and another 9 pages long. How long do you think yours would be? What would you put into it? I bet it would be very interesting.

One thing I need to note is that all the info that is gathered is kept confidential. Nothing is shared without our written consent.

The Five Love Languages

This is the title of a book that I just finished reading. It is written by Gary Chapman (Northfield Publishing). It tells of five ways we express love and receive love.

The first one described is words of affirmation. This is when we tell our mate how great he is. We encourage him with our words and verbally demonstrate how proud we are of him.

The second is quality time. Here we spend time sitting and talking to him. We show him how much we value him by doing activities with him and wanting to hear what he has to say.

The third is receiving gifts. A small gift goes a long way to say "I love you". It doesn't have to be expensive, just a little note or his favorite candy bar.

The fourth is acts of service. He may value a tidy house, his shirts ironed, or food on the table each evening. The things we do speak volumes to him.

Finally, the fifth one is physical touch. Most of us would say yes THAT is it. This isn't the physical touch that we usually think of. This is a kiss, hug or pat that you may give him during the day. How about a back rub? It doesn't have to lead to anything, your touch is a sure sign of love

Sounds easy? Here is where it gets difficult. We all have only one main love language. The way we show love may not be received as a sign of love if the other person speaks a different language. You may keep the house spotless but he needs a hug at the door to feel loved. What about all the praise you give him? If he longs for time spent with you, you would be wasting your breath. Do you get the picture?

How do you know which one he is? Well, one way is to listen to what he complains about. Does he wish you'd clean the house, give him more hugs, say something positive about him,...? Another way is to watch how he is trying to tell you he loves you. You may not pick up on it if it isn't your love language but most people love the way they are able to receive love. A third way is tried and true- just ask him what makes him feel loved.

If you are like me and can't tell definitely which one, try doing all of them and see which one he responds to the most.

If you find out his language and it isn't one that you speak well, ask him what you can do to help him feel more loved and do your best. Remember a husband who is full of love definitely has it's benefits.

Well I'd better go. My husband is breathing on my neck. No- nothing exciting, he just wants the computer:)

Adoption 1

We are trying to adopt. Many people have wondered why. They point out that we already have 4 kids. But too many kids out there have noone. We hope to provide a family for 2-3 of them.

Who are we adopting, is usually the next question. We are going through an adoption agency. In this process the children are identified (looked for) after all the paper work is completed. We look at all the information that is available for many children and try to find a match for our family. This is the hard part. We will seriously pray about this decision.

Where are we getting them from? We will be looking at the children in the foster care system. I hope we can find a match in a county that we don't visit much. I'd hate to run into someone the child knows. It would be nice to give them a fresh start.

When will we receive the children? It's hard to say. Most adoptions take at least 2 years. Our process has gone pretty smoothly but there have been a few snags. Also we want a good match for our family. That may take time. None of these kids are perfect. All of them have many problems. We will need to decide what problems we are able to deal with and which ones will put too much pressure on our family. We want to build a stronger family not destroy the one we already have.

What do we have to do? Right now we are collecting all our information. But lets go back to the beginning. First we made an appointment and talked to an adoption counselor. She laid out the whole process. We thought about it and decided to go for it. Here is where I leave you in suspence. More about the process later:)

Midlife crisis

Hi! Is that title scary or what? What will you do when that time comes? Maybe you already did it. I hope it was fun! I also hope it was constructive. Many times we hear about unhealthy crisis's. You know that man who bought a new convertible he couldn't afford and is now wearing a toupee. Every now and then he also trades in his wife for a younger model. Women also do crazy things in a quest to regain some of their youth. Some are detrimental to them selves and their families. It is very sad when men and women place so much value on trying to regain something that they will never have again and in the process loose what they worked most of their lives to achieve.

I believe I am going through my midlife crisis. Oh no!!! Don't worry. I'm just acting a little crazier that I used to. I know you couldn't tell. Thanks. Anyway, it all started when we were getting ready to go to Washington D.C. I almost never wear make up or paint my fingernails except when my husband and I go someplace special. The night before we left I painted my nails. The color I normally wear is a brownish pink. I like the color but when I put it on that night my hands looked about 90 years old. Not good. I of course took it off and wished I had a pretty, light pink color. I made do with clear. After the trip I came across a pretty, light pink polish and bought it. While waiting for my kids at soccer practice that night, I painted it on. Friends of mine came for their son and were almost blinded by my polish. So they say. They were surprised at the color and others were surprised that I had any on at all. I don't think my husband has got over the shock yet! I liked the color. I then went and got a dark blue polish. Recently I purchased a red and a white. Can you guess what I did with those? Look below and you'll see.

That is in honor of Veteran's Day. As you can see, there are four hands. The old bony ones are mine and the young pretty ones are my daughter's. A very good benefit of my 'crisis' is that it helps me connect with my daughter. That is a very big plus.

So if you feel you need to regain your youth, do something constructive and FUN! A midlife crisis doesn't have to be negative. It can contribute to and enrich the life you have and want to keep.

I think a nice green would work. You know hunting season is coming up!